ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
