If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
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