Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize