i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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