Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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