I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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