you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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