I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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