Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
