I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Randomize
