Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
