i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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