Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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