I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
