: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
