PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
