nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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