Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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