we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize