ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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