your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize