Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
