would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
