I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
