i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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