"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
