Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
