"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this just has baby written all over it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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