Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
