My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
