i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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