I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
