return my video game
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
