I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
