Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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