So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
