i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
