Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
