yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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