We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
