his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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