the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
