I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I currently don't understand fingers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
