Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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