Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
FUCK WHALES
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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