Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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