What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
