I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize