Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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