I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
