Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
