Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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