I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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