I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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