Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
