I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
