You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
