real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
