haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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