For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
