she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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