i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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