i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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