Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
